::sedihnya::

pdhal x ada niat pun tulis blog. cuma melayari website gosip retis (woott cam sukew jew, sukew jew. sukew jew). haha. pastu tnampk gambar psandingan utk 2nd marriage pelakon AM (u know who i mean. pelakon lelaki bajet baik + alim selalu watak2 ustaz dlm deramah malaya last2 kawen dkt Siam tipu isteri pertama haish cukup da clue sgt jelas kn)

bila tgk nmpk gambar tu, laju ja hati mengutuk. tp x perlulah diluahkn kutukan tu. dia da selamat nikah pun. ok la bnikah kn, dpd duk wat maksiat tanpa ikatan. tapi............tapi............ tapi............

entahlah. hati rasa sedih, sebak dan marah. org da kawen ni lebeh sensitipppp kot. hahah owez terimagine benda sama blaku dkt diri sendiri. sedihhhhhh sgt. penah baca satu artikel ttg ketabahan isteri yg diduakan. tiap bait ayat tu menyentuh perasaan. x igt sgt la mcm mn ayat exact dia tp lbh kurg camni: "di luar, nampak biasa seakan tidak ada apa yang pernah berlaku. tp d dlm hati, sedihnya hanya Allah yg tahu. meski suami sudah memohon maaf, tapi luka di hati tak akan sembuh. setiap kali melihat suami mengukir senyum, si isteri membayangkan senyuman itu juga diberikan kepada wanita lain. setiap kali suami memujuk, pujukan itu juga pernah diberi kepada wanita lain, dan setiap kali tgn membelai, belaian itu juga pernah diberi kpd wanita lain. sekuat mana hati cuba melupakan, tetapi keraguan masih bersisa" bapak la ayat cam jiwang je,cam jiwang je, cam jiwang je tp seyes la wehhh. sedeh kottt baca benda alah tu.

tak tau kan mcm mn ada pompuan ada kekuatan utk melukakan hati pompuan lain. muka berseri2 x bsalah bsanding dgn suami org yg 'dirampas'. women out there, can u imagine ur husband is holding hand with other woman and that woman is not you??

to AM's 1st wife, semoga sentiasa tabah n insha Allah ramai org yg mdoakan awak. haish x tau la mau ckp apa, tp seyes ngeri dgn pompuan yg cam x ada hati perasaan sakitkan kaum sejenis dia. x pyh guna alasan "cinta sejati" segala bagai la k. ok fine myb dulu dia penah jd kekasih or penah sumpah sesumpah setia hujung nyawa. tp kalo dia da bjodoh ngn pompuan lain, x pyh beriyeeeeeeeeeeee memaksa sehingga sanggup lukakan pihak lain la wei. back off sudehhhhhh. there's a plenty of fish in d sea so why messin with d one who's already taken. haishhh haishhh haishhhhhhhhh ya Allah sedeh sgt. sedeh sgt. sedeh sgt.

don't get me wrong. poligami x salah. sy bukan menidakkn hukum Allah. cuma pelaksanaan yg salah mbw kepada kebencian org lain. cuba tgk org lain yg beristeri lebih, for instance artis Saleh Yaakob (pergh penuh kuota tu 4 org) tp org x kutuk2 dia sbb dia ikut jalan btl. isteri2 lain pun redha dan terima so kita bole kata 'adil' la (walopn pelaksanaan keadilan tu x dpt kita ukur scr nyata sbb tu kn umah tangga dia. x pyh mengadili sgt haha tp d point is, cara dia betul. kalo cara siap tipu isteri pastu mcm bmslh dgn pihak lain, tu mmg x kena la kn. haihhh. 

smua pompuan mmg ada rs cemburu/sedih dll. tp x tau la lps kawen feel dia tu lebihhhh sket kot. imagine suami dgn pompuan lain pun hati da runtun. pastu tgk movie/series bapak terfeeeeeeellll segala bagai. for instance for those who's already watchd 'KL gengster 2', ada kan scene Rosyam Nor rogol adik Malik(Aaron Aziz) ngn Adi Putra (xigt nama dia siapa dlm ni). dlu2 tgk scene ganas xla emo sgt. tp ritu tgk, ya Allah dlm hati rs marahhhhhhhhhhhhh sgt n sedih gila kot. imagine real life jadi. shialllllllll sangat kn nmpk saudara kita diperlakukan lebih jijik dr binatang. spjg malam tu sy mbebel x puas hati dgn scene tu (honestly sy rs scene tu x patut dibuat). my hubby balik2 ckp "alaa lakonan ja tu," tp sy tetap rs marah. hebatlah Rosyam Nor bole wat org benci dgn dia sungguh2. 

n 2nd, msa tgk series Blacklist (every wednesday 10 pm chn 721). tgk 1st episode dia, ada kan suami dia kena torture di umah dorang, d depan mata Lizzy. penjahat tu tikam2 suami dia (seksa plahan2). tikam paha kanan. tikam paha kiri (wkt Lizzy smpai umah suami dia mmg dh kena tied up n dah penuh lebam2 dipukul). last2 skli dia tikam perut. sh****************t btl smpai sy pun byk kali ikut menjerit sbb terimagine sy yg alami benda tu (suami kena torture dpn mata. bapakkkkkkk sedihhhhhhhhhh n marahhhh..!!! trauma!!)

pastu di sana la sy mula perasan 'sense of feeling' (?) sy lbh alert. dlu tgk movie/series x ada la menjiwai sgt. tp entah kenapa lps da kawen, cpt ja hati tsentuh. pdhal da lama tau tu kan lakonan sj. kalo scene sedeh2 tu biasalah airmata laju ja mengalir tp x la emo sgt. yg ni scene yg violent marahnya meresap dalam. entahlah.......

hahahaha cam aneh je. aneh je. aneh je.

bye..!!

(ps: trendy dkt fb skg: mcm cantik je. cantik je. cantik je. suka sgt. comel je). haha btol ckp B. kena hati2 wat benda skg. skjp ja jd viral da. myb pompuan tu wat just for fun//lawak2 dgn kengkwn tp ntah cana tershare d laman sesawang so paham2 la org kita ni 'caring' sgt. siap share, kutuk, wat parodi dll. nasib badan huuuuu ciannnn opps sy x kutuk ok. cuma 'mengiktiraf' karya dia so suka wat ayat cam dia hahaha)

::penakut::

hari ini baru penah dgr lagu dan lirik Penakut by Yuna. sbb ttiba tfikir perkataan ini utk tajuk entry. to be honest sy x minat Yuna. kdg2 siap kritik lg sbb x paham konsep lagu dia kdg cam bckp ntah apa2. MAAFKAN SY kerna sy buta muzik. mgkn ada yg memahami lagu2 ciptaan Yuna, iaitu mereka2 yg lbh arif dlm hal muzik. maafkn sy Yuna. sy sgt menghormati kejayaan awak walopn pd sy lagu2 awak x best uhuhuhu tp sy tetap suka bbrp lagu dia cam oh bulan enggan bla2  tau apa tajuk sbnr n lagu terukir di bintang.

dulu, ketika hati sy dibolak balikkan sama ada mahu meneruskan atau tidak si dia (yg bakal menjadi suami sy dlm tempoh bbrp belas hari lg.nervous!), sy selalu katakan dgn dia "sy x mahu meneruskan ini lagi", "i don't love u anymore. the feelings has gone". and so on. sy kata sy x mahu bersama dia lagi. "sy kata jgn paksa sy. ini x adil sbb one of us is not happy in this relationship. this is so wrong and you are not being fair to me.pls consider my heart," and im crying a lot. still, he's not giving me on me. dia cuba bersabar dgn karenah sy.

until one day, one day. he said "okay. im letting you go,". and there, i was speechless, numb and rasa x pcya HE IS NOT MY BOYFRIEND ANYMORE. OHMYGOD THIS IS REAL, HE IS LETTING ME GO. HE SET ME FREE. FINALLY HE GAVE ME WHAT I ALWAYS ASK HIM TO GIVE, HE BROKE UP WITH ME!!!

and i was burst in tears. i shud be happy, shouldn't i? but i dont. i feel part of me gone. i cant believe he really let me go. it hurts, and right there i realize that i never want him to let me go. saya yg x bole ditinggalkan. sy selalu kata sy x mahu bersama dia lg, tp sebenarnya hanya dia yg sy ingin bersama. sy selalu kata dia pentingkan diri sbb hny fikirkn ttg hati dan perasaan sendiri, pdhal itulah hati dan perasaan yg sy inginkn. sy kata sy ingin bersama org lain, pdhal hakikat sy xkn pernah sygkn org lain spt sy sygkn dia. sayalah sbnrny yg x bole hidup tanpa dia. sylah sebenarnya si penakut yg selalu berlagak berani minta ditinggalkn. dan bila sekali dia akur dgn 'permintaan' sy, sy mati di situ juga. 

sy ada seorang kawan (kawan jauh. x kenal baik sgt pn). dia kata dia dah bosan dgn psgn dia. dia kata dia sygkn org lain. bukan setahun, bukan dua tahun, bertahun2 lamanya dia kata camtu. kalau dia btl2 berani dan x sekadar ckp kosong, dia spttnya buktikan apa yg dia kata. but in the end dia kahwin juga dgn org yg sama. org yg dia kata dia dah bosan, dah hilang perasaan. tau tak apa maknanya, dia mcm sy. penakut. selalu ckp besar kata x syg, kata nak cari org lain, kata x bahagia. tp in the end, dgn psgn dia jg la dia bersama. tied a knot being a husband and wife lawfully. hahaha. 

ketawa. malu dgn diri sendiri. malu dgn pembohongan diri sendiri. malu sbb cakap besar dan angkuh bisa ditinggalkan. pdhal hakikatnya diri sendirilah yg sgt pengecut dan tidak mengakui tak bisa hidup bersama si dia yg selalu di katakan "sudah tak cinta".

berhenti dgn pembohongan diri sendiri. hari ini sy akui yg sy sygkan bakal suami sy. sy la yg x bole dan x mampu kalau tidak bersama dia. sy lah yg lemah tanpa dia. sy lah yg hilang punca kalau kehilangan dia. i want to be with him, insha Allah till jannah! =)

 

Ya Allah, pmudahkanlah segalanya............hanya Engkau tmpt kami berserah.

::we all have secrets!::

are you gonna invite your ex/huge crush but never be yours/unrequited love to your wedding?

HELL NO!

 =)...

::discOVERing YOU::

to hear this song, click below:

"Someone Like You"

I heard that you're settled down
That you found a girl and you're married now.
I heard that your dreams came true.
Guess she gave you things I didn't give to you.

Old friend, why are you so shy?
Ain't like you to hold back or hide from the light.

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.
I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded
That for me it isn't over.

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don't forget me, I beg
I remember you said,
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead,
Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead"

You know how the time flies
Only yesterday was the time of our lives
We were born and raised
In a summer haze
Bound by the surprise of our glory days

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.
I'd hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded
That for me it isn't over.

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don't forget me, I beg
I remember you said,
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead."

Nothing compares
No worries or cares
Regrets and mistakes
They are memories made.
Who would have known how bittersweet this would taste?

all of a sudden, i want to hear this song again, over and over again.. i don't know why (or maybe i do know why ;p)... but i don't want someone like him. i want someone new with no resemblance/any similarities with the old one. insha Allah he is on his way to find and take my hand, be my imam fiddunya wal akhirah and guide me till Jannah. Insha Allah..! =)

ps: selamat pengantin baru kepada semua teman2 jauh dan dekat yg telah, bakal dan sedang melangsungkan PERNIKAHAN di masa cuti skola sem.1 ni.. alhamdulillah bertemu jodohnya. mdh2an bahagia dan berkekalan shingga ke akhir hayat, shingga ke syurga insha Allah. selamat menempuh alam dan status yang baru. and cpt2 timang baby comel2. hihi 

pss: so called 'bf' puppy love msa skola rendah (M) kwen harini.. (upsss upsss entry ni x ada kena mengena dgn dia tauuuu). and im not d only his ex-lover. lps i ada sorg girl lagi nama A... puan A sudah bkawen tahun lepas, and harini M pula kawen. akhirnya x ada siapa antara kmi yg bsama. sudah tertulis di Luh Mahfuz tiada seorang pn dari kami bjodoh bsama. (HAHAHAAHAHA). sesungguhnya jodoh, ajal maut dan rezeki itu rahsia Allah. my turn to bernikah insha Allah bbrp bulan dr skg. semoga smuanya dipmudahkan.aameeennnnn.

bye.

::choice or fate::

source: page HDYHABH ON fb.

::it's tuesday!::

aahhhh..!! so awkward! ;p