::setiap 25hb, mostly::

alhamdulillah, hari ini bagi para penjawat awam gaji masuk (walopn tgk dlm bank on9 statement gaji i masuk 24 sept jam 00:00 am hewhehewh)

tp setiap kali gaji masuk, dalam masa yang singkat angkanya boleh berubah turun mendadak. bukan apa, bayar hutang (wink2). bayar thru cimbclicks sj, mudah, cpt dan selamat (insha Allah). mula2 login, senyum tgk amount sblh kiri. pastu, tekan bhgn pay: bills, juga bhgn 'transfer: to other banks, clicks clicks here and there, andddddd .... nah! amount mendadak berubah. my gosh i am really an adult now!

i pay rent! yes i stay in a rental house. means i live away from my family. 

i pay for my car. i own a car and i hv to pay for it starting june 2013 and for 7 years ahead.

i pay bills! water supply, broadband, astro (both astro in miri and my parent). that is at least i can do for 'em.

i go shop for groceries.

kdg2 bila baca2 my old entries, mmg x terasa btl masa berlalu. dulu masa jd student, slalu tulis 'mintak duit dari parent sbb x cukup duit sendiri', x penah rasa ada 'tanggungjawab' sgt. yala msh student kn, x ada apa sgt keperluan duit (kecuali utk shopping brg2 yg disukai mcm baju etc). x adanya bayar2 sewa umah or keta. elaun student akan dipotong rm60 setiap bulan (konon2 sewa hostel la). keta pesona yg di bawa ke hulu hilir pla daddy yg bayarkan. rumah pun bukannya jauh sgt. setakat dua jam beza, bole ulang alik tiap hari kalo mau. and memang pun masa msh study d IPG Kgau, every weekends saya balik umah (ranau). balik petang jumaat, petang ahad or subuh isnin baru balik kgau. every weekends mst ada dkt umah. but now? :(

last balik umah wkt smbut bday hjg bln ogos/early sept. lepas ni x dpt balik g smpai cuti skola. berjauhan dgn keluarga, btl2 berdiri di atas kaki sendiri. to survive alone. dgn sgla bil2 dibayar tiap bulan, btl2 terasa kehidupan seorang 'dewasa'. ada tanggungjawab. beli barang rumah. kena masak utk diri sendiri. kemas rumah sendiri. x ada mengharap weekends dpt bsenang lenang d umah tggu masakan mommy. x ada nya mharap bila sakit baju2 mommy yg tlg basuh. x adanya mharap bila sakit mommy/daddy yg kena temankan bila terjaga demam/batuk di tgh2 mlm. x ada. semua kena wat sendiri.

rasa mcm background lagu masa tulis entry ni bait2 dr lagu Taylor Swift - Never Grow Up. Listen the full version of song with lyrics here.

 Take pictures in your mind of your childhood room
Memorize what it sounded like when your dad gets home
Remember the footsteps, remember the words said
And all your little brother's favorite songs
I just realized everything I have is someday gonna be gone

So here I am in my new apartment
In a big city, they just dropped me off
It's so much colder that I thought it would be
So I tuck myself in and turn my night light on

x apa la. inilah cycle hidup manusia. alhamdulillah dpt merasa tempat org. mdh2an cpt la dpt pindah balik Sabah//Ranau to be exact. 

k la bye.

ps: bila baca entry yg lama (sila click ini), hati seyes rasa xcited. mcm darah di pam cpt ke jantung. seyes xcited. can we live in a place like this one day, B. please? (wat muka innocent). series sy sgt suka!!!